Q. Try Hard Hippy:
yo what are your thoughts on them god damn immigents? in particular, the asylum seeker variety?
A. Angry Giraffe:
The fact that there are grown men rotting in over-crowded jails all over our 'fair and free' wide brown land for years on end, solely for the heinous 'crime' of 'arriving illegally', for having the natural human desire to try to find some semblance of shelter, sustenance and safety for themselves and their children makes me want to burn down parliament house.
The fact that there are women and children locked in jails all over fuck-we're-good-blokes-and-everybody-else-are-evil-bastards-especially-the-brown-people Australia because they tried to leave behind a life living in constant fear of death, and violence while going to get bread and milk from the corner store that is either low on everything or doesn't exist at all... makes me want to stab all of my xenophobic retard mates in cold blood then shoot myself in the face with a shotgun.
But y'know I'm an angry overly idealistic loud-mouth hypocrite hippie punk who can barely tie his own shoelaces so I'm probably wrong about everything and we should just keep doing everything exactly the way we are because there's a chance that if we change anything, it might make stuff start getting worse than it already is in the future.
Maybe we should just all do whatever the fuck we want all of the time except be gay or use bad language or have sex before marriage, regularly ask Jesus to forgive us for all the other evil shit we do, and everything will be all sweet.
If you send a question to kickflip_911@hotmail.com, I promise I won't insult your mother with my answer unless she deserves it.
It is now officially election day, and I don`t have anyone to talk politics with.
Serves me right for doing away with Facebook.
No young people here will speak a word of politics, the word is dirt, as everyone is completely disillusioned with the complete corruption of the system. I`ve been reading about Mexican history and politics constantly since I got here. As far as I can tell, drug cartels and American business interests completely run this country. It is very, very, bad. The government and the federal army are arguably worse than the drug gangs, they hold shootouts in the streets with the cartels at the expense of the blood of the civillian population. Civillians are injured all the time, and it seems that the public gun-battles are only conducted in order for the government to convey a bullshit sense of action on corruption and crime. Acting tough on the drug cartels on the streets and on the front page of the newspapers and at the TV news gains them re-election through fear and bent ballot boxes and perpetuates the system of institutional corruption. So everyone closes their eyes and slaps their hands over their ears and squeals like a pig whenever you try to talk about voting or government or politics of any kind that even remotely resembles our traditional western style of liberal democracy.
I read that the polls are splitting it 50-50 after preferences.
What the fuck is wrong with our country?
...maybe I dont miss it so much. Average people here in Mexico have no faith in institutional politics. I wondder why? I can`t bothered writing about the ins and outs of this campaign like I normally would, nothing they are aruging over is worth giving the time of day. Mexicans don`t read the paper, they don`t vote, they don`t care about governMENTAL politics, they judge ALL people on whether or not the are nice, polite, kind, honest, and respectful, they simply don`t care about, let alone support, either side of the bullshit political spectrum. They only seem to care about each other, the people, not other people`s politics, because politics is a fairy-tale for them. All I can say is that if your `average Jose` trusted politics enough to vote, it would NEVER be for Abbott. Poor people here (the massive majority), care about human kindness and sharing food and drinks and music and dancing and laughter, not whether or not a few thousand people should be allowed to land on their coast in leaky boats.
'At least' in Australia we get to vote `comfortable` in the `knowledge` that government corruption and dodgy dealing is only suspected, and not accepted as normal and unchangeable.
The only thing better about systems of liberal democracy seems to me to be the real liberties we enjoy in regards to freedom of speech and freedom of the press. The papers still print the same old shit and blind `the masses` from the truth, but at least we don`t often see people jailed for having alternative or `irrational` or `dangerous` views on politics.
The internet is the only tool we have with the potential to be utilised for truly free democracy and free-speech. It is being brutalised, like all other communication technologies before it, by the commercial imperative for popularity, into another weapon to be utilised for brainwashing people and distracting them from the things that really matter. But so long that it isn`t legislated out of the ability to be open-slather, it will always be a potential opening for truly democratic practices. NO NET CENSORSHIP.
Sorry family, but bugger the ALP... the alternative is undoubtedly worse... I want her to win... but I also know that her winning will not be that much better in the scheme of things.
So Abbott might bomb Indonesia if they refuse to take our asylum seekers, or legalise gay-bashing, or make it mandatory for women to leave school at the age of 14 to take Christian child-rearing and cooking classes.. but what difference will voting for Gillard make in terms of saving the planet from utter destruction?
Gillard isn`t as outwardly and openly "evil" as he, but voting for her won`t help bring about the sort of change in enironmental and economic policy that is necessary to avoid evil anarcistic social disorder and inevitable annihilation. I don`t think it is irrational to argue that unless there is international, RADICAL, policy reform in the immediate future, there won`t be any sort of planet to stage idiotic elections campaigns in the nearer-than-everyone-seems-to-think future.
I love the people and plants and platypi of Australia more than anything else in the world... we have an amazing and interesting national identity, character, and culture. It is one which I hold dear to my heart and one of which that I am proud, but I`d wipe my arse with the flag, and spit on the steps of parliament house without hesitation. Or maybe cut the Union Jack out of it, wipe my arse with that, replace it with the boxing Kangaroo (or a picture of a footy or a wave or a parma&pot or Warnie bowling a perfect leg-break), drape the new flag around my neck and wash the windows of parliament house with the shit-stained stupid little square of red, white and blue cloth. Jules was talking about the republic again the other day. Exciting.
I remember my very intelligent, wise, and wordly marine biologist navy-seal Grandpa saying something about it being muy importante, very important, (mierde, shit, I`m starting to think in Spanish already... it took me several seconds to figure out the English way to say that) to avoid `a one-way ticket to anarchy`...
I respect his opinions greatly and I know what he meant, but to the statement by itself and out of context I call BS. Anarchy can certainly be evil and undesirable, but the word is stigmatised. Noam Chomsky describes himself as an Anarchist, and the man is the most referenced academic alive today, he has the brain capacity of the entire Australian public combined and multiplied by five. Anarchy in terms of decreasing centralised governmental control of the decision making process and realising a more open, honest, direct form of democracy is an extremely attractive ideal, and an ideal which I believe should be inform all potential practial measures for reforming pathetic political systems the world over.
Continuing with the traditional left v right, liberal v conservative, pendulum game of politics that we have been playing for the past couple of hundred years is exactly the correct change for the aforementioned ticket. In the worst sense of the word anarchy. Our system of representaional democracy, while noble in its Jeffersonian intention and invention, has brought us to where we are today, and therefore must be done away with, or at least reformed beyond any real regonition. We desperately need to completely alter the foundations of our staid, pre-modern political system, the constant back and forth over nothing, and achieving only as much as the narcissistic two-party polticial system will allow, as soon as possible. If we don`t, over-population, environmental degredation, and shortages of food, water and resources will lead to a breakdown of all traditional instituions anyway, and a evil, cyclonic system of utterly evil anarchy will emerge.
Of course this is just a theory, but I think it is a reasonable one. A probable outcome, if you will. Reneage militant organisations the world over recruiting the starving and dying masses to wage war over resources and land. Dramatic? Yes. Far-fetched? I honestly don`t believe it is, and many others agree. `Respected` (i.e. much-read, i.e. not necessarily right by any means) political philosopher Robert D. Kaplan, made the argument of the aforementioned war-lords-and-ladies consequences of political stagnation in `The Coming Anarchy`, an article published in Atlantic Monthly in 1994. He argues this will become the norm everywhere, instead of just in smelly, weird countries in Africa, where he argues such economic and population-related anarchy is already becoming evident. That was in 1994. Anything can happen, no ones knows for sure what will happen, but on `current evidence` (aka what I`ve read, i.e. very little), I see no reason to doubt his assertion that future `anarchy` is largely inevitable. We should all try to make "The Coming Anarchy" as fair, free just, and truly democratic for all the people of the planet as possible.
Humankind's tendency toward a kind of slipshod, gooey, utopian and ultimately dangerous optimism may be its final downfall. Envirmonmental and political reality is a terrifying dystopia, and it must be seen as cowardly and evil to shy away from planet`s severe problems under a warm blanket of optimism. Life isn`t a terrifying dystopia, you can always like and love and have pleasureable and positive experiences while the world collapses, and so everyone should. I`m having a postively pleasurable experience right now, writing this, then Ox-tongue tacos and beer for lunch!!! However, pretending that reality is not as ill as we all truly know that it is, or hiding away from thinking about how we can prevent the planet from plummeting into further, irreparable illness, as the scientific evidence suggests that it will, is not a true, honest, honourable, or respectable way of conducting ourselves as human beings.
Therefore, I have these reasons NOT to vote for the same old ALP, when what we need is RADICAL policy change, right now.
1. Inhumane, evil asylum policy ponderings.
Some say it is necessary to return to government when Abbott is in opposition.
I say succumbing to populist front-page outrage over the non-issue of immigration is pandering to the liberals attacks on the issue, and serves to make the problem worse.
This is the worst kind of political expediancy; it legitamises idiotic Australian xenophobia in the national conscious. It is okay to hate refugees. Bullshit Jules.
2. Pressing forwards with plans for mandatory and anonymous censorship of the internet.
No one should ever vote for big brother. Secret government blacklists are for commies, not Aussies.
All of the technical experts agree that it will slow Australian internet speeds, and we are already way behind of the rest of the `developed world` on this front.
This will be bad for productivity, bad for the economy, and even worse in terms of open and transparent governance. So no secret censorship, Julia Stalin.
3. Literally no policy on climate change; except ``wait for community consensus on the issue``.
This is the clincher. The worst. She says she believes in it. Abbott has variously claimed that the planet might be alright, that the world has warmed in the last few years, that we could do it with clean coal or nuclear or something else we will surely invent soon; he should be taken out the back paddock and shot for stupidity. He is quite clearly an irrational idiot, she is claims not to be. Therefore, on climate change, she is worse than he is.
Anyone in a position of power, who is sane enough to believe the weight of evidence... seen by a massive majority of the world`s scientific community to mean that we need to stop the world warming, right now, or else... and does nothing about it... is evil. End of story.
Yes, Rudd and Labour lost face over backflipping on the ETS scheme, yes the Libs will try to play the scare card that the economy will collapse if we do anything at all to try to save the planet from exploding. This doesn`t change the fact that she is in power and she is telling the Australian public from the highest office that the best thing for our country and the best thing for the planet... is to wait until everyone agrees on what to do to. Some people will actually listen, and take this message on board, even if it isn`t the message she would rather be sending. Its called being honest. An honest politician. A foxymoron.
She won`t tell the most important truths to the people. She is therefore a complete muppet, a politician without principle, a power-hungry, two-faced, blood-thirsty, back-stabbing bitch who cares more about herself and her pathetic political party than "the Australian people", the people of the planet, or the planet itself. If I saw her in the street I`d ask her why her policy is to take years off the life expectancy of the all young people on the planet and ensure that there is no planet for my potential children to play on.
4. She is a woman.
5. She has red-hair.
6. She is childless and unmarried, and therefore out of touch with working families and real Australian women. She probably doesn`t even know how to cook or clean.
7. She is lovely and personable and is willing to be interviewed by equally lovely red-headed Australian rock-stars, and I wish she was my Aunty. THIS IS NO REASON TO VOTE FOR HER. PERSONALITY COUNTS FOR DIRT. POLICY OVER PERSONALITY.
I have to admit, that in true-to-form, Miles Mouth-off fashion, I am claiming to care and doing the opposite. I didn`t get to vote. I didn`t even think of it until about 5 days ago. I checked out AEC website; naturally, I was already way too late to register for a postal vote, and didn`t have enough pesos to take the 14-hour bus trip to Mexico City to pre-vote at the Australian Embassy. So The Greens won`t get my vote in the lower house and The Australian Sex Party won`t get my protest-vote in the Senate. They are the only Australian party running on a platform of gay rights, sexual liberation, destroying conservative stigma, and destroying Stephen Conroy`s idiotic and evil plans for secretive censorship of the internet. Vote Sexy In The Senate. Leave secretive government blacklists to the `god-damned-gook-commies`.
Dad, please don`t vote for Labour and the same old shit. Vote for The Greens in both houses. You`re dead right. Bob Brown looks good. Bob Brown always looks good. He always speaks, thinks, acts, and tries to legislate for social progress and saving the planet and our Australian environment. He is a good man, a smart man, a logical man, and a courageous man; the best bloody poofter you`ll ever come accross. A vote for The Greens is a vote for progress; they are the only party who want serious reform in the fields of environment, education and healthcare, including dental and mental healthcare. Throwing more funding around before elections doesn`t mean better results; The Greens are thinking long-term, and Labour need to learn this.
Kindness and compassion for the poor, sick, and starving are not useless qualities to have in political leaders. Realistic, serious democratic debate and progressive thinking informed by an earnest spirit of compassion for people and the planet is the only way to fix things.
When Pete Garrett loses faith in the love-will-tear-us-apart Labour party factional fighting machine and returns to his `mental` environmentalist roots, together he and Bob might actually make some significant changes in Australian politics. If they can`t change it all, at least they`ll keep the bastards alot more honest about what they are letting big-business to our beautfiul old-growth bush, our oceans, our rivers, and our indigenous people. No more burning beds, blue-sky mines, U.S. forces, or letting the "fucking frogs drop their fucking radioactive fucking experimental warheads into the fucking pacific, our fucking pacific, the dirty bastards". Pete Garrett for President of the Australian republic, 2020. Bob Brown for PM. Mick Dodson or someone else who actually owns this country for minister for Indigenous Affairs, or both President and PM if they want to be. Vote for what you know is right instead of trying to ensure something doesn`t go wrong, nearly everything is wrong already. Maybe it doesn`t seem so in lovely little Australia, but out here the rest of the world is hurting badly, and we need to pull our weight in trying to solve the whole planet`s problems, not just our own. Vote for the Greens.
That is my bit of pent-up political propaganda anyway. Sorry for the epic ranting, but I needed to get that off my chest. Hehehe. I`ll post that as an entry on my blog now, but I guess I`ll send still send it to you guys too, even though you were just asking how I was. Haha.
Death to Tony Abbott,
I pray he doesn`t win by one vote,
Sorry Family,
Sorry Australia,
Sorry Planet Earth,
Peace, Love, and a promise to try harder to help from now on,
Miles.
PS. This is probably for Dad`s ears only, because it has lots of naughty words, and I don`t know if your internet will load a music video, but this song "Drunk on election night" is awesome. It is by Paul Kelly`s nephew, Dan Kelly. One of Barney`s mates plays guitar in his band, the Alpha Males. If you can`t watch it, look up the lyrics... he wrote it about 2004 election night, when we re-elected Howard with an increased majority a year after we invaded another sovereign nation without the backing of the UN, a year after we started carpet bombing Arab babies, a year after we started an unjust and unnecessary war. The yanks voted in Bush with an increased, popular (>+50%) majority a month later. Neil Young chose it for his compilation album called "Living with war songs of the times". I`m going camping in the desert with my fingers crossed until Sunday, I hope I`m not wandering around Monterrey singing this to myself in the weeks and months to come. If Abbott wins, and Collingwood win the premiership, sorry, but I`m staying here. Or moving to America.
Australian Football League
aka
AFL
aka
Australian Rules Football
aka
Actual Real Footy...
....
I`m feeling decidedly sick-to-the-stomach looking at the ladder after the weekend.
The following facts suck particular dick:
The Tiges getting belted by the blues. It`s always shit getting belted... but this meant I officially, mathematically, there she goes lost a pineapple. I bet that the Tiges would finish higher on the ladder than the Dees. Ah well. Next year fellas.
...
Collingwood are smashing it. This is truly disgusting. If the dirt merchants win a "10th anniversary flag", I`m not coming home from Mexico. No way, no how. Go Cats, go Saints, go Doggies, go Freo for fucks sake... anyone but the Colliwobbles... 1990 didn`t count... you can`t win a flag on that "first saturday in October"... surely they`ll choke... and hopefully die. Please choke. Particularly Dale Thomas. You Fairy.
...
On the Essendon-stealing-Richmond-champions-for-coaches-then-treating-them-like-shit- front (I notice that Ashley Prescott is an assistant these days...next in line??)... Ya gotta feel super sorry for Matty Knights. The only thing the poor bloke has done wrong with his baby bombers is a mistake more reminiscent of a new coach at Richmond. Achieving too much success with a young list too soon. No one expected Essendon to perform as well as they did over the last two years, the man has done an amazing job, and now it looks like the bullshit raised expectations that come with early success may be his downfall.
The last couple of losses have been horrible, and I`d be disappointed at the prospect of missing the finals and taking a step backwards if I were a Don aswell. However, young sides will always have patchy form, and it is the blokes on the park that are to blame for copping absolute beltings, not the man in the box. The media circus that puts pressure on any coaches at the drop of the hat is one of the least realistic, most highly idiotic aspects of our sport. Editors and journos get personally stuck in to guys who don`t deserve is a poorly veiled attempt to sell more papers. The poorest thing is that it works. Everyone should buy the paper with the least attention grabbing back page. I think he is the right man for the job, a hardnut and a good bloke, and he has clearly shown that he has enough technical and strategic nouse to draw results from this list that other coaches would have struggled to match.
The worst part is the shadow of Hird. The man is god at Windy Hill, and his word is gospel. The second he says he wants in Knighters is out. Hirdy flagged the possibility during the week, but The Herald Sun AKA The Almighty Bastion of Reputable Journalism reported yesterday that he reckons it won`t happen "for at least three years....and probably never". So stick with the white Knight until HIrdy throws in his hat, or the Bombers plummet to the bottom, which seems rather unlikely. As the man points out, he has a contract. Let him try to fulfill it, he is doing alright so far. Big picture, people.
...
The only positive thing I can find about AFL at the moment (and it is pretty bloody good), is that Jacky Rievolt is still on top of the Coleman table. Shit yeah. If he can keep his nose in front of big bad Bazz (who would have thought at the start of the year that it would be J. Rievolt v B. Hall slugging it out for the Coleman...) for the last couple of rounds, it will be a gigantic achievement for a budding young superstar. If he gets up, my only worry is that his head will explode when they hang the medal around his neck. I don`t think it will, he probably thought he had it in the bag from round 1... I reckon he will take it in his egomaniacal stride, and he will only get better and better as he gets more and more arrogant. GO YOU GOOD THING.
2010 RIEVOLT COLEMAN.
2011 RIEVOLT B2B COLEMAN, DELEDIO BROWNLOW, MARTIN NORM SMITH, TIGES FLAG.
THIS WILL HAPPEN.
...
Football
aka
Wogball
aka
Soccer
aka
The World Game...
...
I love the world game with a passion. It is a sincere regret of mine that I didn`t take an interest in it earlier. The beautiful game... not a beautiful as real footy, or cricket for that matter, but definitely my third favourite sport. Heheh.
...
I was stoked to find that the Mexicano CableTV in my pimped out new pad has FOXsports and ESPN, as it means I`ll finally be able to get put some serious time into watching the EPL and European competitions. It just sucks that I get to watch all the Liverpool games in the first season we haven`t qualified for the champions league in forever...
...
Its been a distinclty so-so start to the season for the mighty Liverpool FC. I missed most of the Arsenal game.. We were leading through Ngog`s tasty-looking opener... Gerrard and Johnston both had near misses...we were cruising into injury time and a good first-up home win against quality opposition... right up until.... uh-oh..
91st minute.
Idiota.
1-1.
Draw.
Joe Cole sent off in his first appearance..argh.
I caught the the highlights of the crappy-arse UEFA-cup-who-gives-a-fuck qualifier this arvo... Hodgson made wholesale changes in accordance with the crappiness of the competition... Babel scored a decent goal to finish off a shitty first half where we didn`t create many chances... Reina pulled a blinding save ¿video? for Sunday`s blunder against the Gunners in a second half where we played better with Torres up front...Joe Cole missed a penatly (NOT a good start in the RED Joey, hehe), blah blah blah... we don`t belng in this crappy competition, so I couldn`t really care less. Good to see new-recruit and supposed future superstar Christian Poulsen get a game. From the little I saw on the highlights reel, he looks the real deal. Hodgson was happy with him: "suprising...satisfying...he played very well". One to watch.
For the Reds, it really has to be all about the league this year. Gotta get something serious happening in England. Cups are always glorious, and we`re bloody good at winning them, but sustained success at home has to come first.
Looking forward to actually watching the season for real for once.
LIV-ERP-OOL LIVERPOOL FC.... COME ON YOU REDS.
Futbol
aka
The Beautiful Game
aka
Mexican Madness...
...
Monterrey has two teams in the Premiera Division de Mexico.
Club de Futbal Monterrey (C.F. Monterrey) have won the last two national league titles, are expected to do so again this season. So they`re really good, and they play at the massive, awesome, 45,000 seat stadium located at my uni campus, just over the road from where I`m living. You can imagine how excited I was at the prospect of following a side that wins nearly every week, and is very likely to win the title this season....
That was until I discovered that Monterrey`s other side was known simply as TIGRES, wear yellow&blue and sometimes yellow&black uniforms, and have a giant tiger emblazoned on all club clobber. I had no option but to barrack for the Mexican Tiges. The Monterrey Tiges. Haha. Mad.
I pissed myself the second I read up a bit about the team. There was no going back, they were the tiges, so I back `em. But get this... Turns out Tigres are completely shithouse. They`ve started this season with a win, two draws, and a loss, but from what I can tell, they will be lucky to continue on even at that rate. They almost won over the weekend, but got equalised on in injury time aswell. Mierde. Shit.
Similiar to my real Richmond Tiges, they have one of the most passionate supporter bases of any club in Mexico (the highest average home game attendance of any side, 47,500)...
So passionate are they that on the 27th of March this year, as the club lost its 7th straight game, and slumped to the bottom of the table (their worst season on record), TIGRES fans literally started tearing each other apart... a war errupting between fans chanting for the coaches head, and fans who supported the clubs current administration...fists and rocks flying all over the place... hehe Loco Mexicanos..
The `best bit`? (I`d normally say "only in Mexico", but it doesn`t seem out of the realms of possibility at Punt Rd sometimes...) There were rumours everywhere in the media that a dissident faction of the clubs board had paid the supporter calling for the coaches blood to start the fight, in the hope that it would get him sacked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Viva La Mexico, Ole Tigres.
Aussie Aussie Aussie, OI OI OI, Go the mighty Tiges.
England can suck it, Come on you Reds.
Three footy teams that never fucking win, trainspotting style.
Same shit, different sewer, if you will.
Bargh.
[Alright laptop… by my head…
where’s wally
goat-yeah.
and getting essential
and existential
with bob cuts
mixing blood
AKA
why
I
mightn’t
marry
or whatever]
by me and the outmyHeadbutpleasdontfuckCases]
7yuc zhd2**paranoid android.[ the robot by the ‘better’ person]
please could you stop the noise im tryin a get some REST?
from all the unbornchikkenVoicesinn my head? [book, brook, book]
huh whats’s that??
when i am king you will be first against the wall
with your opinions which are of no consequence at all [too'cool'..me. not good me]
huh what’s that??
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaambition makes you look very ugly [to me..it’s all mine …you’re not an ugly person]
kicking squeeling Gucci little piggy [I can’t help myself]
“you don’t remember “why don’t you remember my name [i now know it’s not true]? off with his head. off with his head man. why wont he reme mber my name [why won’t he forget…it’s not worth it]?”
“ “ I guess he does_[spot on]”
raindownraindown come on raind down on me
froma great height. from a gra/eeaa haaaeeeeeiii. haaaeeeeeiiii
rain down rain down come on rain down on me
froma great height. from a great aaaaaaaeeeeee
raindownrain down come on raindown onme.
froma great heightfrom a great
“ “that’s it sir youre leaving”[you’re making a scene]the crackle of pig skin
The dust & the screaming the yuppies networking
the panic the vomit
the panic the vomit
god loves his children god loves his children, yeah!
dxoigmn**subeterranean homesick alien/.
[but I’d be alright. I’m just up-tight]
pack and get dressed
before your father hears us [fuck that]
before all hell breaks loose [fuck that. loose. No.]
you can laugh [i..just can't help you]
a spineless laugh [full of soulful ignorance]
we hope your rules and wisdom choke you [humanely]
now we are [not] one
in everlasting peace
[I/] we hope that you [never] choke
[I/] we hope that you [never] choke
[I/] we hope that you [never] choke
[I/] we hope that you [never] choke
sddksuhvs**exit music(for a film)
spread a little lovin'[different direction]..again... just don’t ask for it back.
I7yci7cyi**let down.
one day. I am goingtogrow wings.
hysterical and useless [17ycicyi**let down. hysterical and useless]
you’ve been gone long… you’re coming back… never coming back…
[cup of tea in the morning light…everything’s alright…now..she.. makes my man healthier ‘wealthier’ [can’t help myself]and wiser]
karma police**??id6890
karma police arrest this man he talks in maths he buzzesLikeAfridge hes like a detuned radio.
karma police arrest this girl he rhitler hairdo is making me feel ill [I preferred the old one. my fault not theh airs]
&we
have
crashed
her
party.
tHis is what you get. tHis is what you get. tHis is what you get when you mess [with with everthing/s]
your heart’s [really is] a [fucking] mess [, mate.]
(phew for a minute there I thought I lost myself
fitter happier [than me.yeah] more productive
comfortable
not drinking too much [too much../too young]
regular exercise at the gym (3 days a week)[too many. people should pay me to lift their heaviness]
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries [who..will/you..will..love/I..will/love..you/love..them/not..them?]
at ease [not true. wherefore?
more.]
eating well (no more microwaves dinner and saturated fats) [sounds..delicious and decadent. i’m never right.]
a patient better driver [when hell boils over]
a safer car (baby smiling in the back seat)
sleeping well (no bad dreams) [I/hope..for her]
no paranoia [doubt the same. doubt the different.]
careful to all animals (never washing spiders down the plughole)
keep in contact with old friends (enjoy a drink now and then) [me me
me me.
whiskey
alluring
ever and ever,
nonono.]
[stop using your right arm to type,
slow down.]
will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in wall)
favours for favours
fond but not in love
charity standing orders
on Sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants)
car wash (also on Sundays)
no longer afraid of the dark. [afraid of very little.
pretend to be brave.
shit myself when you/I...try.]
or midday shadows [or gameshows.another million tortured.
coming from your cunting colour television.
can’t help..myself]
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate
nothing so childish
at a better pace [a much...muchbetter pace.
full stop!
end of non-existant argument.]
slower and more calculated
no chance of escape [‘escape’.
his word, not mine.
should ‘escape’,
if you can stand it.]
now self-employed [maybe then.]
concerned (but powerless) [close to the bone.
you cutting cunt.]
an empowered and informed member of society (pragmatism not idealism) [cut/close to a paranoid,
now.]
will not cry in public [or show affection.
just not the way. notfair.]
less chance of illness
tyres that grip in the wet (shot of baby strapped in the back) [shot dead
in a dumpster]
a good memory
still cries at a good film
still kisses with saliva [no way not.not evernot.]
no longer empty and frantic
like a cat
tied to a stick
that s driven into
frozen winter shit (the ability to laugh at weakness) [really really gets
my little goat.
Bleat, bleat,
bleat your heart out//
little goat.
no-one will listen
it’s the way it was
way before you
won't go away.]
calm []
fitter, healthier and more productive
a pig
in a cage
on antibiotics
[I know I’m wrong]
[I can’t help it, I can’t help myself, I can’t help it.]
[I will.]
[regardless]
[but this is why, this is why….this is why.]
the man in the pigpen knows the way winds blow
feelin’ down...?I’ll come around.I’ll pick you up.take you out.coming back.Never
gg yhf**climbing up the walls
I am the pick in the ice
do not cry out or hit the alarm
we are friends till we die y
its always better wwwhen the light
is off [deleting it]
its always better on the outside
eitherway you turn I’ll be there [when you want]
open up your skull I’ll be there [if you need]
climbing up the [your] walls [not literally. sorry.
sorry. okay.]
I’ll take a quiet life. a handshake some carbon monoxide [no, no , no}. No alarms and no surprises. No alarms and no surprises please.
it barks at no-one else but me like its seen a ghost. I guess its seen the sparks a-flowin [blowin’ in your sisters collection.
we like harmonica.
you don’t.
fucking pub trivia.
mate.], no one else would know.
sometimes I get over charged that’s when you see some sparks. They ask where the hell im going?? At 1000 feet per second.
hey man slowdown. Idiot slow down. [idiot slowdown./now.]
you just [kinda] wasted my precious time.
don’t think twice, it’s alright. [100%]
don’t think about today.til tomorrow.
everybody must [stop] get[ting so] stoned..[or else]
"The world is much closer to running out of oil than official estimates admit, says a whistleblower at the International Energy Agency who claims it has been deliberately underplaying a looming shortage for fear of triggering panic buying"
"LONDON: Every phone call, text message, email and website visit made by Britons is to be stored for a year and will be available for monitoring by government bodies.
All telecoms companies and internet service providers will be required by British law to keep a record of every customer's personal communications, showing who they have contacted, when and where, as well as the websites they have visited"
Matt Hayden goes to the Tiwi Islands to promote sport, exercise and a healthy lifestlye amongst indigenous children. Fair enough...
BUT
He went there as an ambassador for the Macquarie Bank to kindly donate $24,000 of their money to the local girls soccer club...
Macquarie Bank CEO Alan Moss earns an estimated $33m a year.
Investment banking cheif Nicholas Moore earns $32.9m a year.
Head of corporate finance Michael Carapiet earns $23m a year.
Chairman David Clarke earned almost $19m last year.
Deputy managing director Richard Sheppard earned $10.2m last year.
NICE.
If these blokes donated their spare change to Haydos's valiant charity efforts, there would be a veritable fuckload of pretty pimped-out girl's soccer stadiums in remote indigenous communities in no time...
"SCIENTISTS in the US have engineered artificial penises in rabbits using cells from the animals to grow tailor-made organs, with some rabbits hopping to it and fathering baby rabbits within months"
Crazy...
The moral of the story is that the world is inconcievably fucked-up and incomprehensibly bizarre.
If you read about it before you go to bed you probably won't be all that keen on waking up.
Although you might find pictures like this by accident that remind you life is worth living..
Behold the East-African naked mole-rat:
Apparently an east-african naked mole-rat looks rather a lot like a penis with legs:
one for the footy heads...
one of the funniest youtubes i've ever seen...
hitler losing his shit over the all-australian squad...
from the Crikey Sports blog...
something i'd thought i'd say...
SPOT ON MEIN FUHRER. HEIL HITLER!
