Sunday, May 15, 2011

like totes bailin...

^^^been introduced to like omg what all the kids these dayz are doin so probablamente won't be postin moocho on this old mate from here on in... its been great, i've ranted lots of nonsensical babble and stuff i'll probably look back on one day and wish i'd never been born, but hey lets face it speaking shit is more fun than being silent so suck my nuts cunts. yeah, that's a good way to end this juvenile retardshitfest. suck em. <3

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

dos dinosaurios still managing to make shit sick...

These dudes are starting to make me less terrified of middle age.
I hope I'm at the Masics/Moore electric wheelchair tour come 2030.  

Monday, April 11, 2011

fuck off, we're full (of shit)...

Q. Try Hard Hippy:
yo what are your thoughts on them god damn immigents? in particular, the asylum seeker variety?

A. Angry Giraffe:
The fact that there are grown men rotting in over-crowded jails all over our 'fair and free' wide brown land for years on end, solely for the heinous 'crime' of 'arriving illegally', for having the natural human desire to try to find some semblance of shelter, sustenance and safety for themselves and their children makes me want to burn down parliament house.

The fact that there are women and children locked in jails all over fuck-we're-good-blokes-and-everybody-else-are-evil-bastards-especially-the-brown-people Australia because they tried to leave behind a life living in constant fear of death, and violence while going to get bread and milk from the corner store that is either low on everything or doesn't exist at all... makes me want to stab all of my xenophobic retard mates in cold blood then shoot myself in the face with a shotgun.

But y'know I'm an angry overly idealistic loud-mouth hypocrite hippie punk who can barely tie his own shoelaces so I'm probably wrong about everything and we should just keep doing everything exactly the way we are because there's a chance that if we change anything, it might make stuff start getting worse than it already is in the future.

Maybe we should just all do whatever the fuck we want all of the time except be gay or use bad language or have sex before marriage, regularly ask Jesus to forgive us for all the other evil shit we do, and everything will be all sweet.

If you send a question to, I promise I won't insult your mother with my answer unless she deserves it.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

getting my horrifying procrastination on...

Q. Why am I sitting in the library reading the incomprehensible mindless drivel on the blog of a leering holier-than-thou redhead shit vomiting moron mechanism instead of doing my mis-en-scene analysis essay on the last scene from the film about chopper read called chopper, the one where he is sitting in his cell watching the screening of the interview he did for the commercial television network current affairs show, the one with the journalist who he wrote about in his book also the book which I was meant to have finished reading ages ago for my australian writing and cultural change class because the essay was due last friday but I haven't even finished reading the book let alone started writing the essay either because he thought she was sexy and had guts and determination unlike everyone else in the television as opposed to torture industry in his opinion because she was willing to fly to tassie to watch him shoot stubbies out of the fat outstretched fists of bikies in order to get a good scoop for her commerical television network current affairs show and then in the interview on the little tv in the cell he jokes with her about chopping off her toes or something then says she has nice toes and clearly as the stuff on the tv screen is all brightly lit while the lighting in the cell is all dark and moody and there is sun shining in to the cell both from the window behind the tv and from the doorway behind the prison guards with whom he jokes about how much money the tv interview is going to make him in book sales and a copy of his book is placed behind the tv somehow this is all amounts to extremely masterful meaningful film-making and i'm supposed to be able to wax lyrical for two thousand words about how profound all of the above is without once questioning why arguing endlessly about cinematic techniques and styles and the manner in which they generate meanings is a legitimate intellectual pursuit worthy of my precious time and therefore under the old adages spouted by alcoholic uncles are always right so fucking do what your told act of 1954 money for my cinema studies class?

A. Because I drank too much coffee before coming to the library so I can now only concentrate on short spasms of awesomely entertaining idiotic internet drivel with all the videos and links and sounds and pictures to go with the words web pages such as Dry Red, or this, instead of the dryer-than-dry ice self-indulgent academic wankery the establishment makes me read endlessly in order to obtain a piece of paper which will amount to either a ticket to employment in the field of photocopying and data entry or a ticket to years upon years of reading ever-increasing amounts of dry self-indulgent academic wankery on pieces of paper made from the trees we so desperately need to store our rapidly diminishing levels of carbon in our atmosphere so that one day I may be deemed qualified to begin attempting to force new generations of drug-addled and disaffected young minds who unlike their educators are still more interested in socialising and sex and enjoying life and trying avoid falling into the ever-increasingly materialistic middle-class lifestyles of their quasi-non-conformist educators than making buckets of money to feed said educators said increasing need for material consumption into reading unreasonably large bundles of exactly the same crusty soul crushing academia while at the same time encouraging them to think freely and creatively about ways to trying to liberate society from outdated structures of debilitating conformity.

Who needs speed when you get unlimited free coffee and breakfast from a dodgy mate who works in swanky camberwell cafe's?

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Ever fallen in love?

Shy pommy schoolboy and a pretty punk pommy schoolgirl bond over the latest Buzzcocks 7" inna record store, she's tellen 'im to come to'er joint to lissen to'et yeh, then back a'er joint they share a brew, anna fag, she tells 'im: "gob on me", they spit beer on eechuvva, then they lose their shit an shag like swee'arts listenin' to the 'cocks.

nAWWW fuckin' luvely 'at is iznit?

Wednesday, March 30, 2011


If a bear shits dreamily in the woods and the fucking pope is nowhere near the scene of the rather serene crime to hear anything about it, then what's the point of it being posted on some weirdo's music blog where no-one will ever fucking well smell that shit? There is no point at all, one would argue correctly. This explains why it must be posted on this motherfucker right here, this mighty bastion of mainstream indie-alternative trend-setting, this new cool cunt fuckwit bible, this extremely-well-known-except-only-in-the-coolest-kids-on-the-interwebz-circles music and other cool stuff interweblog, this super successful superstar elitist style sensation that like ptch4k or whatever like totes wishes it could be, but knows it never will be because like chuh as if, this space that is soon to be smothered in heaps of hyper lucrative hispter fashion label advertising, extorting money out of its fucking fabulously fashionable fanbase, whose super sublimely sensational taste in absolutely everything and soul squashing preoccupation with social status leads them buy a whole bunch of ridiculous shit they don't need in the slightest but desperately need to own for the sake of the consumer-item cultural capital that it brings to their personal brand, thus making the 'uber-cool' capitalist pigdog AmeriApparel style 'socially conscious' corporations (and consequently the best blog ever itself) ultra rich and therefore even cooler, this be all and end all of music and modern cultural criticism, this blog that this blog reccomends ultra-highly, that this blog suggests that if you don't like it you're probably a loser or weird or something, and gives its new album 10.3 out of 9.... Conversations With Unicorns.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

unified suck farts....

the distant, the mournful,
sound of a ships horn,
suggesting nothing more,
than the sad exhale,
of a distant god,
watching the pathetic struggles of humans.

(blowing their noses, for example, or...
performing unified suck farts.)

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

meat shake...

Shakin' it, good.
Swinging from rafters, good.
Eating microphones, good.
Not going to see thee oh sees in Melbourne last month, bad.
Not being in Monterrey to see thee oh sees this weekend, bad.
Thee oh sees: good, Miles... bad.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

this just in... america loves jesus.

A gallup poll in 1999 asked a bunch of stupid seppo's whether they would vote for an 'otherwise' well-qualified...

Woman (95% yes)
Roman Catholic (94%)
Jew (92%)
Black (92%)
Mormon (79%)
Homosexual (79%)
Atheist (49%)

So... 5% surveyed admit they would never ever vote for a bitch, yet only 6% swear they would never vote for a pope-blower. Another 8% are willing to state they would never vote for a kike or a nigger, while only 79% would be willing to trust a fag; the exact same number that don't mind the notion of a derranged door-to-door jesus freak running their nation.

A MAJORITY of those surveyed would never vote for an atheist.

Que pedo.

"When one person sufferes from a delusion it is called insanity.
When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion."
- Robert M. Pirsig ~ Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

"Majority rule, don't work in mental institutions." - NoFX

"Jesus Cunt, Supercunt. Religion is fucked in the head." - Miles

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

somos mas los buenos que los malos...

Its not us VS them.
The enemy is within.
I could unfuck myself.
You could unfuck yourself.
Together we could unfuck the world.
Pero no.
¿Que pedo?
¿Por que?

Thursday, November 4, 2010

from a funny memo from a funny memo...


probablemente ya lo hayas escuchado.

me agrada


I kinda like pretty, overly-opinionated hippy girls who clearly have no idea what they are talking about.
In fact I'm pretty sure I am one.
I just wish people didn't believe in dragons.
Stuff that we can see is amazing.
We can make magic with our minds, and this is good.
Lots of lies are good.
Beautiful lies aren't evil, but no-one should claim they are true.
Believing lies is what got us in this whole fucked-up mess in the first place.

Monday, October 25, 2010

pretty videos from home and stupid songs in very stupid spanish from right here, right now.....

what do you do when a lovely girl with a lovely fringe who plays lovely lonely guitar in your brain and sometimes sings lovely songs you both like in a lovely lilting light voice sends you a video you already know of two similarly lovely girls sitting in a forrest playing lovely guitar and singing a lovely lonely song you already love in lovely lilting light voices?

1. sit around in foreign land trying to write songs about foreign girls in a foreign language that you don't understand using a foreign textbook that you don't understand and a computer that doesn't understand anything at all in an attempt to try to forget about your own old life and about your own old language and about the existence of the pacific ocean.
2. fail miserably at all of the above.
3. drink many beers.

ella tiene una lista de palabras nuevas
los muchachos bailan con las muchachas
yo hablo mucho veces con mi maestra
yo trato de practicar tambien
nosotros deseamos cantar cada dia
nosotros cantamos un cancion para ella

mujeres dibujan mapas en mi mente
ella pregunta la hora
yo preparo informacion para la futura
yo necesito un buen cuaderno
nosotros conversamos siempre en espanol
nosotros tomamos limonada en cada reunion

nosotros deseamos cantar cada dia
nosotros cantamos un cancion para ella
nosotros deseamos cantar cada dia
nosotros cantamos un cancion para ella

tu siempre comunicas
enthusiasmo en espanol
un muchacho ayuda a otros muchachos
hoy yo tocaro la gitarra
nosotros usamos la forma correcto
nosotros contestamos la pregunta

nosotros deseamos cantar cada dia
nosotros cantamos un cancion para ella
nosotros deseamos cantar cada dia
nosotros cantamos un cancion para ella

ella habla sobre los productos
ella informa sobre la poesia moderna
yo contesto un sobre la arrogancia
yo espero leer una novela persona
nosotros hablamos poco en la biblioteca
nosotros hablamos rapido en la selva

nosotros deseamos cantar cada dia
nosotros cantamos un cancion para ella
nosotros deseamos cantar cada dia
nosotros cantamos un cancion para ella
nosotros cantamos siempre un cancion para ella

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

blast from last summer...

last year i loved a song
it just came on mtv mexicana
it reminded me of last summer
it made me buy beer and darts
its 3 in the morning
on a monday in monterrey
in mexico
so far away from where i was
so much has happened since
yet it still feels like last summer
the next one will be weird

Thursday, October 7, 2010

mi respuesta de un correo electronico estupido para mi universidad en Australlia....

Hi Yuki!
Hi everyone at Swinburne Abroad!

I'm fine.
I have heard gunshots several times since I arrive, last week they were very loud and right outside my house, and yesterday I could hear them en la tarde when I was smoking cigarettes and practising my spanish with cute mexican girls at uni.

Sorry, but I won't be going to meetings or communicating international offices or anyone else other than my young mexicano amigos y familia in regards to safety. They are the ones whose advice I trust, as nearly all other advice I get is hysterical and unhelpful. If it was up to many personas, especially internacional estudientes (mainly girls :P), I would spend my entire exchange locked in the toilet of my apartment.

It is very frustrating listening to international students gossiping at university about whether or not the situation is getting "better" or "worse" in an empty-headed, extremely reactionary fashion every time there is a shooting. The drug war, the apparently corrupt government and media and police, in conjunction with the apparently extreme and unquantifiable power and influence of the drugs cartels in this part of the world... well the catch-22 situation makes it completely impossible for anyone (international offices, students, and mexicana personas included) to have even the vaguest clue as to whether the situation is "getting worse" or getting better".

The gossiping personas I speak of are reading the (apparently) extremely corrupt and sensantionalist (y influential) mainstream newspapers and television every day.... if one was to believe their representation of the situation one would think that walking around Monterrey was like walking around the set of Resident Evil 4.

I have yet to see any bloodied corpses or zombies, and it is fairly unlikely that I will.

It works better for me not to think about the situation and just get on with having the most amazing time I've ever had in my life... I could get eaten by a shark swimming at the beach or be hit by a truck skating or bitten by a spider out the bush in Australia anytime... and I plan to travel all over the world to all sorts of foreign and dangerous locations in the future. Therefore I am using this experience as a means of learning how to deal with fear in a sensible manner.

Although it breaks my heart to hear stories of violence, kidnappings y shootings etc from friends, and my hear goes out to the lovely people of mexico who have to deal with the fear and violence every day of their lives... I have the philosophy that I'm more likely NOT to experience such things than I am. More people don't get shot than people who do. So I try not to let it worry me. Succumbing to fear makes it very difficult to remain happy and positive, and acting fearful in dangerous situations always makes them more dangerous. Everday bad guys can see and smell who is looking and smelling scared in the streets and are much more likely to target people whom they can tell are already terrified. Walking around the streets behind garbage bins every time a car backfires or constantly looking your shoulder is a very bad idea. If the bad guys are proper, nasty, narco-sharks with AK47s looking for a foreigner to rob or kidnap, then there is nothing I can do about it either way, so there is not point thinking or worrying about it.

I see Collingwood won the grand final replay. Tell me this is all a horrible joke made up by the Australian media especially designed to make a homesick traveller very very depressed. HAHA.

The thought of the MCG covered in Black and White streamers makes me want to vomit, but at least it has gone a long way toward allaying my feelings of homesickness. If England beat Australia in the cricket this summer, which is looking like a possibility going on both side's current form according to an australiano amigo..... I am going to be one very unhappy camper upon returning to the city of poor sporting results.

This weekend I am going to the futbal with a mexicano amigo who supports the Monterrey Tigres... I support the Richmond Tigers in the AFL. I have been watching the Primera Division de Mexico on the television and videos on youtube of the muy muy loco fans drinking beers and chanting and sometimes getting in very crazy riots. Mi amigo assures me it will be alot of fun and he knows how to ensure we avoid any dangerous situations. OLE TIGRES!!!!

On sunday I am climbing the mountains once again with amigos from Mexico and a Norwiegan Viking amigo. I'll send you some photos!

Paz y Amor,


Tuesday, October 5, 2010


Sublimado Corrosivo: Nunca me han gustado los blogs: "Nunca me han gustado los blogs y siguen sin gustarme. De hecho hasta me siento extraño escribiendo en esta madre. Me siento como uno entre m..."

Sunday, October 3, 2010

sueño numero doce...

after I finally begged,
she tried to leave,
then sheepishly returned,
ding dong on my doorbell,
despite the bell-end
I ignored the pig-head.
you so stupid, stupid.

in the dreamtime I dreamt of her,
of her and her friend,
inside and out,
don’t believe the lies...
on the seventh day,
god created a shower.

I awoke avoiding reality,
wishing on whims,
wanting to touch,
very very much,
although also wildly worried,
a feeling for a friend,
es only the dreamtime amigo,
friends aren’t that friendly in the daytime.

Remember the past.
Don’t do anything stupid, stupid.
You so stupid, stupid.
Stop choosing such stupid choices, stupid.
Start being smart, stupid.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

num num num num num...

after a night of drinking on rooftops
staring at the city lights dancing
the only thing as good as waking up
in bed with lots of lovely latina ladies
is the goodness to be had upon getting up
listenin' to spanish singing and dancing
makin' sweet banana pancakes
with even sweeter back rubs.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

sitting and staring sadly...

No tenia disposición mas que dos experiencias: la del sujeto mirado y la del sujeto mirarte. - Roland Barthes, La Camara Lucida ~ 1980.

An image begins its movement the instant we look at it.
They transform from the stoned certainty of the sensory chase, into a flowing pool of fluid meaning the instant they are captured and frozen. No matter the form a mediated memory takes, a video, a picture, a painting, a photo, there will always be movements brimming with the life of the viewer, and therefore will do a different dance for each person who picks its up. Never believe what you see. Particularly in an ever-moving memory object. For while you are looking at it and leering, like a ravenous and arrogant jackal on a desperate quest for meaning and blood, you are only staring in a mirror of memory, and it is looking back at you and laughly silently. We know this, we've talked about this, but words can't describe the magical physical manifestations of sentimentality. 

Barthes wrote Camera Lucia as a eulogy for his mother.

Sentimentality changed he though about thinking about looking at pictures.

Codes of culture and language and philosophy are limited in terms of truly understanding anything.

They often have no relevance love and pain and the past.
Love and pain and the past are all just words.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

first dream for fucking ages...

people always say,
if you stop smoking bud,
you’ll be dreaming once more,
at night,
and in general.

i never trust what people say,
its a strength of mine,
but also a big problem,
people’s intentions are innocent.

people also say,
if you write down your dreams,
right away upon waking,
the memories,
return with a vengeance.

from what I can tell,
both are based in truth,
as far as I can tell,
from the information,
I have at my disposal,

I just woke up,
I dreamt that I got home,
drank beer in parks,
ate watermelon in parks,
and sat on the steps of parliament house.

you wanted to paint it purple,
I wanted to burn it down,
we couldn’t agree,
but it didn’t matter,
we were the best and brightest
of our pathetic democracy.

then I went to exchange again,
in Iraq,
Heavy Metal In Baghdad,
which was fucking good,
not very ‘cool’,
but very fucking good.


I didn’t want to leave,
the centre of the serious action,
because I had to head to the coast,
because I wanted to go surfing.

there I lived,
on a cliff,
the weather was hot,
the nights were nice,
the surf was massive,
the food was foreign,
the locals were crazy,
some of them were very friendly,
I made Iraqi friends-for-life.
‘bra boys’ are massive pussies.
I thought Iraq was land-locked?

a tale of two cities #3...

your coke is cooked by satan in the pits of hell

This is what the front of the 'news' pieces of paper look like in Monterrey, every single day.
This is not what Monterrey looks like every single day.
Not from what I have actually seen.

This is what the first article on the Melburnian internet news screen reads like today.
ONE of the world's most powerful organised crime syndicates, Mexico's Sinaloa cartel, has infiltrated Australia, importing up to half of the cocaine used on the nation's east coast over the past two years.
Don't worry, they are lovely family cartel who swim in pools of flowers and play hand claps with your kids.
If it was the zetas you would have  reason to be concerned, but Sinaloa chaps are happy and clappy.
¡Ask anyone wey!
It has also highlighted how the surging numbers of Australian cocaine users is helping enrich a network responsible for the deaths of thousands of Mexicans and the destabilisation of the Mexican state.
Think about the world outside your neighbourhood and outside the inside of your nose.
In relation to legs, I'm an amputee who lives in a glass house full of head fucking rocks.
The Sinaloa cartel is controlled by billionaire drug lord Joaquin ''El Chapo'' Guzman. Its clashes with rival drug syndicates fuel unprecedented bloodshed and corruption in Mexico.
But it is alright, when the government start openly doing deals with the cartels again, everything will be alright.
The media will tell the truth, democracy will be more open and accountable to the people, and everyone will work to help eradicate inequality and the slow death of the poverty stricken rural population of Mexico.
¡Ask anyone wey!
More than 28,000 people have died in Mexico since 2006, when President Felipe Calderon ordered 50,000 soldiers to join police in a ''drug war'' that some senior Mexican officials now believe has been lost. 
 So we need to regroup, buy more guns, buy more tanks, authorise the use of chemical weapons in the city streets, kill every single last one of the bastards, win the war, and everything will be awesome. Like in America. Like in America after they won WWII, because they are strong and brave and smart and the best.
¡Its true dude!
US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton recently said Mexico's drug cartels were beginning to resemble an insurgency. ''It's looking more and more like Colombia looked 20 years ago, when the narco-traffickers controlled certain parts of the country,'' she said.
We should carpet bomb those parts of the country, strafe the farms and villages with helicopter gunships.
It worked for America in Vietnam.
!Trust us!
Cocaine use has surged across Australia over the past two years.
Still want to suck Charlies dick?
I know I do, it tastes fucking amazing.
Ugh. Yuck.
Everyone is a fucking faggot.
No one on earth has a brain, everyone on earth has a bullet.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

mi encanta esta foto de las piernas...

a trio of lovely latin ladies
drew me some bits and pieces
part of a picture each
una foto de las piernas y penes

i love pictures.
i love legs.

Monday, September 13, 2010

burnin down tha house...

a set of sort of
star-crossed lovers
a forbidden fruit lies
on the other side of time

the distance is not great
enough to close the gate
on stands on sleeper left
the other sleeper right

they face each other and wish
                                and wait
they don’t touch each other
though they both
with they would

how and why and when
could it should it would it
she sticks her head
                 straight in the sandpit
get the fuck out of my treehouse

he wants to burn it down
the honest and hard-working
                    hardwood house
her father has-been

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Band Name Idea #348 - Mexican 'Death-Dentist' Fucked-up Facewound.

the two best things about a mexican dentist

is that they are lovely and old and caring and cute
and that they give you an equally cute and lovely little yellow mouse

to take your tooth home in
whether you like it or not

similar to dentists everywhere
i assume
(me no estiendo español ~ neither does this keyboard)
they recommend that you brush your teeth

good ole joe strummer didn't believe in brushing his teeth
and he was a fucking cool dude

until that happened to all of them
and he bought new ones for the TV cameras
and for his fucking girlfriend
what a fucking sell-out man.

you should try to be more like good ole joe
and less like the good but deliberately stupid young one
don't let him have trained for the london marathon while smoking cigarettes in vain
learn the lessons of his youth

sing songs of freedom with johnny cash
defend the ghettos
know your rights
wrong 'em boyo
stand up straight
in the Ramshackle Day Parade

live in Garageland
play in Garage bands
rock the fuckin' casbah
tell em your name

throw the two thoughts of rock
those of lover's and of revolution

don't get lost in the supermarket
or work for the fucking clampdown

but do it all of this without
the massive hole in your head

don't reject all of your career opportunities
only the ones that you think are wrong
don't get so bored with the U.S.A
there are plenty of good people there
to try to to make right
what others have done wrong

in the words of good ole joe
i'm still a man of 'the left'
but i no longer hate america
how could i?
many of my best friends are american
its not their fucking fault
stop saying fuck the world
start saying fucking fix it.

poor old, wise ole joe
shouldn't have done so many fucking drugs
pretty please,
brush your teeth and stay in school
you arrogant little cunts.
thank you kindly.

the worst thing about a mexican dentist?
for fuck's sake
and for good ole joe's
don't be so fucking xenophobic
he would want to punch your fucking face in too
but wouldn't actually do it.

Monday, August 30, 2010


The war that was never fought,
brought with it a heightened sense of ultimate death,
the whole thing was a lie,
unnecessary in its entirety,
a folly of powerful men,
of which everyone was aware of the absurdity,
because the apparatus of state,
those in power,
those in culture,
those in the theatre of war,
explained the absurdity explicitly,
loudly and so that all could hear,
in order to legitimise their own position.

Why then now,
on the brink,
a far less avoidable ultimate death,
do the people not understand the absurdity?

It is for the following reason,
that those in power refuse to inform,
the people of their impeding death,
at least to an adequate degree.

This is a war for truth,
that the people must wage.
Those in power refuse to do so,
in the former instance,
this was all good and well,
as opposed to the present instance,
where this is all evil and ill.

Those in power,
need to re-read the cave,
and take the closing conversations,
as their only option in office.
Those that have left Plato’s cave,
in relation to the end of the world,
which in the world of information,
is all those with an ear or an eye,
must refuse to be blinded,
by the darkness  of the day-to-day.

The light is burning less bright,
day by day by day,
those who wish there to be a future,
future light, future dark, future grey,
must burrow deep into the dark,
and hold up the torch of Armageddon.


Saturday, August 21, 2010

a letter home on election day...

It is now officially election day, and I don`t have anyone to talk politics with.
Serves me right for doing away with Facebook.

No young people here will speak a word of politics, the word is dirt, as everyone is completely disillusioned with the complete corruption of the system. I`ve been reading about Mexican history and politics constantly since I got here. As far as I can tell, drug cartels and American business interests completely run this country. It is very, very, bad. The government and the federal army are arguably worse than the drug gangs, they hold shootouts in the streets with the cartels at the expense of the blood of the civillian population. Civillians are injured all the time, and it seems that the public gun-battles are only conducted in order for the government to convey a bullshit sense of action on corruption and crime. Acting tough on the drug cartels on the streets and on the front page of the newspapers and at the TV news gains them re-election through fear and bent ballot boxes and perpetuates the system of institutional corruption. So everyone closes their eyes and slaps their hands over their ears and squeals like a pig whenever you try to talk about voting or government or politics of any kind that even remotely resembles our traditional western style of liberal democracy.

I read that the polls are splitting it 50-50 after preferences.

What the fuck is wrong with our country?

...maybe I dont miss it so much. Average people here in Mexico have no faith in institutional politics. I wondder why? I can`t bothered writing about the ins and outs of this campaign like I normally would, nothing they are aruging over is worth giving the time of day. Mexicans don`t read the paper, they don`t vote, they don`t care about governMENTAL politics, they judge ALL people on whether or not the are nice, polite, kind, honest, and respectful, they simply don`t care about, let alone support, either side of the bullshit political spectrum. They only seem to care about each other, the people, not other people`s politics, because politics is a fairy-tale for them. All I can say is that if your `average Jose` trusted politics enough to vote, it would NEVER be for Abbott. Poor people here (the massive majority), care about human kindness and sharing food and drinks and music and dancing and laughter, not whether or not a few thousand people should be allowed to land on their coast in leaky boats.

'At least' in Australia we get to vote `comfortable` in the `knowledge` that government corruption and dodgy dealing is only suspected, and not accepted as normal and unchangeable.

The only thing better about systems of liberal democracy seems to me to be the real liberties we enjoy in regards to freedom of speech and freedom of the press. The papers still print the same old shit and blind `the masses` from the truth, but at least we don`t often see people jailed for having alternative or `irrational` or `dangerous` views on politics.

The internet is the only tool we have with the potential to be utilised for truly free democracy and free-speech. It is being brutalised, like all other communication technologies before it, by the commercial imperative for popularity, into another weapon to be utilised for brainwashing people and distracting them from the things that really matter. But so long that it isn`t legislated out of the ability to be open-slather, it will always be a potential opening for truly democratic practices. NO NET CENSORSHIP.

Sorry family, but bugger the ALP... the alternative is undoubtedly worse... I want her to win... but I also know that her winning will not be that much better in the scheme of things.

So Abbott might bomb Indonesia if they refuse to take our asylum seekers, or legalise gay-bashing, or make it mandatory for women to leave school at the age of 14 to take Christian child-rearing and cooking classes.. but what difference will voting for Gillard make in terms of saving the planet from utter destruction?

Gillard isn`t as outwardly and openly "evil" as he, but voting for her won`t help bring about the sort of change in enironmental and economic policy that is necessary to avoid evil anarcistic social disorder and inevitable annihilation. I don`t think it is irrational to argue that unless there is international, RADICAL, policy reform in the immediate future, there won`t be any sort of planet to stage idiotic elections campaigns in the nearer-than-everyone-seems-to-think future.

I love the people and plants and platypi of Australia more than anything else in the world... we have an amazing and interesting national identity, character, and culture. It is one which I hold dear to my heart and one of which that I am proud, but I`d wipe my arse with the flag, and spit on the steps of parliament house without hesitation. Or maybe cut the Union Jack out of it, wipe my arse with that, replace it with the boxing Kangaroo (or a picture of a footy or a wave or a parma&pot or Warnie bowling a perfect leg-break), drape the new flag around my neck and wash the windows of parliament house with the shit-stained stupid little square of red, white and blue cloth. Jules was talking about the republic again the other day. Exciting.

I remember my very intelligent, wise, and wordly marine biologist navy-seal Grandpa saying something about it being muy importante, very important, (mierde, shit, I`m starting to think in Spanish already... it took me several seconds to figure out the English way to say that) to avoid `a one-way ticket to anarchy`...

I respect his opinions greatly and I know what he meant, but to the statement by itself and out of context I call BS. Anarchy can certainly be evil and undesirable, but the word is stigmatised. Noam Chomsky describes himself as an Anarchist, and the man is the most referenced academic alive today, he has the brain capacity of the entire Australian public combined and multiplied by five. Anarchy in terms of decreasing centralised governmental control of the decision making process and realising a more open, honest, direct form of democracy is an extremely attractive ideal, and an ideal which I believe should be inform all potential practial measures for reforming pathetic political systems the world over.

Continuing with the traditional left v right, liberal v conservative, pendulum game of politics that we have been playing for the past couple of hundred years is exactly the correct change for the aforementioned ticket. In the worst sense of the word anarchy. Our system of representaional democracy, while noble in its Jeffersonian intention and invention, has brought us to where we are today, and therefore must be done away with, or at least reformed beyond any real regonition. We desperately need to completely alter the foundations of our staid, pre-modern political system, the constant back and forth over nothing, and achieving only as much as the narcissistic two-party polticial system will allow, as soon as possible. If we don`t, over-population, environmental degredation, and shortages of food, water and resources will lead to a breakdown of all traditional instituions anyway, and a evil, cyclonic system of utterly evil anarchy will emerge.

Of course this is just a theory, but I think it is a reasonable one. A probable outcome, if you will. Reneage militant organisations the world over recruiting the starving and dying masses to wage war over resources and land. Dramatic? Yes. Far-fetched? I honestly don`t believe it is, and many others agree. `Respected` (i.e. much-read, i.e. not necessarily right by any means) political philosopher Robert D. Kaplan, made the argument of the aforementioned war-lords-and-ladies consequences of political stagnation in `The Coming Anarchy`, an article published in Atlantic Monthly in 1994. He argues this will become the norm everywhere, instead of just in smelly, weird countries in Africa, where he argues such economic and population-related anarchy is already becoming evident. That was in 1994. Anything can happen, no ones knows for sure what will happen, but on `current evidence` (aka what I`ve read, i.e. very little), I see no reason to doubt his assertion that future `anarchy` is largely inevitable. We should all try to make "The Coming Anarchy" as fair, free just, and truly democratic for all the people of the planet as possible.

Humankind's tendency toward a kind of slipshod, gooey, utopian and ultimately dangerous optimism may be its final downfall. Envirmonmental and political reality is a terrifying dystopia, and it must be seen as cowardly and evil to shy away from planet`s severe problems under a warm blanket of optimism. Life isn`t a terrifying dystopia, you can always like and love and have pleasureable and positive experiences while the world collapses, and so everyone should. I`m having a postively pleasurable experience right now, writing this, then Ox-tongue tacos and beer for lunch!!! However, pretending that reality is not as ill as we all truly know that it is, or hiding away from thinking about how we can prevent the planet from plummeting into further, irreparable illness, as the scientific evidence suggests that it will, is not a true, honest, honourable, or respectable way of conducting ourselves as human beings.

Therefore, I have these reasons NOT to vote for the same old ALP, when what we need is RADICAL policy change, right now.

1. Inhumane, evil asylum policy ponderings.

Some say it is necessary to return to government when Abbott is in opposition.
I say succumbing to populist front-page outrage over the non-issue of immigration is pandering to the liberals attacks on the issue, and serves to make the problem worse.
This is the worst kind of political expediancy; it legitamises idiotic Australian xenophobia in the national conscious. It is okay to hate refugees. Bullshit Jules.

2. Pressing forwards with plans for mandatory and anonymous censorship of the internet.

No one should ever vote for big brother. Secret government blacklists are for commies, not Aussies.
All of the technical experts agree that it will slow Australian internet speeds, and we are already way behind of the rest of the `developed world` on this front.
This will be bad for productivity, bad for the economy, and even worse in terms of open and transparent governance. So no secret censorship, Julia Stalin.

3. Literally no policy on climate change; except ``wait for community consensus on the issue``.

This is the clincher. The worst. She says she believes in it. Abbott has variously claimed that the planet might be alright, that the world has warmed in the last few years, that we could do it with clean coal or nuclear or something else we will surely invent soon; he should be taken out the back paddock and shot for stupidity. He is quite clearly an irrational idiot, she is claims not to be. Therefore, on climate change, she is worse than he is.

Anyone in a position of power, who is sane enough to believe the weight of evidence... seen by a massive majority of the world`s scientific community to mean that we need to stop the world warming, right now, or else... and does nothing about it... is evil. End of story.

Yes, Rudd and Labour lost face over backflipping on the ETS scheme, yes the Libs will try to play the scare card that the economy will collapse if we do anything at all to try to save the planet from exploding. This doesn`t change the fact that she is in power and she is telling the Australian public from the highest office that the best thing for our country and the best thing for the planet... is to wait until everyone agrees on what to do to. Some people will actually listen, and take this message on board, even if it isn`t the message she would rather be sending. Its called being honest. An honest politician. A foxymoron.

She won`t tell the most important truths to the people. She is therefore a complete muppet, a politician without principle, a power-hungry, two-faced, blood-thirsty, back-stabbing bitch who cares more about herself and her pathetic political party than "the Australian people", the people of the planet, or the planet itself. If I saw her in the street I`d ask her why her policy is to take years off the life expectancy of the all young people on the planet and ensure that there is no planet for my potential children to play on.

4. She is a woman.
5. She has red-hair.
6. She is childless and unmarried, and therefore out of touch with working families and real Australian women. She probably doesn`t even know how to cook or clean.
7. She is lovely and personable and is willing to be interviewed by equally lovely red-headed Australian rock-stars, and I wish she was my Aunty. THIS IS NO REASON TO VOTE FOR HER. PERSONALITY COUNTS FOR DIRT. POLICY OVER PERSONALITY.

MySpace Presents... Prime Minister Julia Gillard

MySpace Australia | MySpace Video

I have to admit, that in true-to-form, Miles Mouth-off fashion, I am claiming to care and doing the opposite. I didn`t get to vote. I didn`t even think of it until about 5 days ago. I checked out AEC website; naturally, I was already way too late to register for a postal vote, and didn`t have enough pesos to take the 14-hour bus trip to Mexico City to pre-vote at the Australian Embassy. So The Greens won`t get my vote in the lower house and The Australian Sex Party won`t get my protest-vote in the Senate. They are the only Australian party running on a platform of gay rights, sexual liberation, destroying conservative stigma, and destroying Stephen Conroy`s idiotic and evil plans for secretive censorship of the internet. Vote Sexy In The Senate. Leave secretive government blacklists to the `god-damned-gook-commies`.

Dad, please don`t vote for Labour and the same old shit. Vote for The Greens in both houses. You`re dead right. Bob Brown looks good. Bob Brown always looks good. He always speaks, thinks, acts, and tries to legislate for social progress and saving the planet and our Australian environment. He is a good man, a smart man, a logical man, and a courageous man; the best bloody poofter you`ll ever come accross. A vote for The Greens is a vote for progress; they are the only party who want serious reform in the fields of environment, education and healthcare, including dental and mental healthcare. Throwing more funding around before elections doesn`t mean better results; The Greens are thinking long-term, and Labour need to learn this.

Kindness and compassion for the poor, sick, and starving are not useless qualities to have in political leaders. Realistic, serious democratic debate and progressive thinking informed by an earnest spirit of compassion for people and the planet is the only way to fix things.

When Pete Garrett loses faith in the love-will-tear-us-apart Labour party factional fighting machine and returns to his `mental` environmentalist roots, together he and Bob might actually make some significant changes in Australian politics. If they can`t change it all, at least they`ll keep the bastards alot more honest about what they are letting big-business to our beautfiul old-growth bush, our oceans, our rivers, and our indigenous people. No more burning beds, blue-sky mines, U.S. forces, or letting the "fucking frogs drop their fucking radioactive fucking experimental warheads into the fucking pacific, our fucking pacific, the dirty bastards". Pete Garrett for President of the Australian republic, 2020. Bob Brown for PM. Mick Dodson or someone else who actually owns this country for minister for Indigenous Affairs, or both President and PM if they want to be. Vote for what you know is right instead of trying to ensure something doesn`t go wrong, nearly everything is wrong already. Maybe it doesn`t seem so in lovely little Australia, but out here the rest of the world is hurting badly, and we need to pull our weight in trying to solve the whole planet`s problems, not just our own. Vote for the Greens.

That is my bit of pent-up political propaganda anyway. Sorry for the epic ranting, but I needed to get that off my chest. Hehehe. I`ll post that as an entry on my blog now, but I guess I`ll send still send it to you guys too, even though you were just asking how I was. Haha.

Death to Tony Abbott,
I pray he doesn`t win by one vote,
Sorry Family,
Sorry Australia,
Sorry Planet Earth,
Peace, Love, and a promise to try harder to help from now on,

PS. This is probably for Dad`s ears only, because it has lots of naughty words, and I don`t know if your internet will load a music video, but this song "Drunk on election night" is awesome. It is by Paul Kelly`s nephew, Dan Kelly. One of Barney`s mates plays guitar in his band, the Alpha Males. If you can`t watch it, look up the lyrics... he wrote it about 2004 election night, when we re-elected Howard with an increased majority a year after we invaded another sovereign nation without the backing of the UN, a year after we started carpet bombing Arab babies, a year after we started an unjust and unnecessary war. The yanks voted in Bush with an increased, popular (>+50%) majority a month later. Neil Young chose it for his compilation album called "Living with war songs of the times". I`m going camping in the desert with my fingers crossed until Sunday, I hope I`m not wandering around Monterrey singing this to myself in the weeks and months to come. If Abbott wins, and Collingwood win the premiership, sorry, but I`m staying here. Or moving to America.

Friday, August 20, 2010

real footy/`football`/futbol...

Australian Football League
Australian Rules Football
Actual Real Footy...
I`m feeling decidedly sick-to-the-stomach looking at the ladder after the weekend.

The following facts suck particular dick:

The Tiges getting belted by the blues. It`s always shit getting belted... but this meant I officially, mathematically, there she goes lost a pineapple. I bet that the Tiges would finish higher on the ladder than the Dees. Ah well. Next year fellas.
Collingwood are smashing it. This is truly disgusting. If the dirt merchants win a "10th anniversary flag", I`m not coming home from Mexico. No way, no how. Go Cats, go Saints, go Doggies, go Freo for fucks sake... anyone but the Colliwobbles... 1990 didn`t count... you can`t win a flag on that "first saturday in October"... surely they`ll choke... and hopefully die. Please choke. Particularly Dale Thomas. You Fairy.
On the Essendon-stealing-Richmond-champions-for-coaches-then-treating-them-like-shit- front (I notice that Ashley Prescott is an assistant these in line??)... Ya gotta feel super sorry for Matty Knights. The only thing the poor bloke has done wrong with his baby bombers is a mistake more reminiscent of a new coach at Richmond. Achieving too much success with a young list too soon. No one expected Essendon to perform as well as they did over the last two years, the man has done an amazing job, and now it looks like the bullshit raised expectations that come with early success may be his downfall.

The last couple of losses have been horrible, and I`d be disappointed at the prospect of missing the finals and taking a step backwards if I were a Don aswell. However, young sides will always have patchy form, and it is the blokes on the park that are to blame for copping absolute beltings, not the man in the box. The media circus that puts pressure on any coaches at the drop of the hat is one of the least realistic, most highly idiotic aspects of our sport. Editors and journos get personally stuck in to guys who don`t deserve is a poorly veiled attempt to sell more papers. The poorest thing is that it works. Everyone should buy the paper with the least attention grabbing back page. I think he is the right man for the job, a hardnut and a good bloke, and he has clearly shown that he has enough technical and strategic nouse to draw results from this list that other coaches would have struggled to match.

The worst part is the shadow of Hird. The man is god at Windy Hill, and his word is gospel. The second he says he wants in Knighters is out. Hirdy flagged the possibility during the week, but The Herald Sun AKA The Almighty Bastion of Reputable Journalism reported yesterday that he reckons it won`t happen "for at least three years....and probably never". So  stick with the white Knight until HIrdy throws in his hat, or the Bombers plummet to the bottom, which seems rather unlikely. As the man points out, he has a contract. Let him try to fulfill it, he is doing alright so far. Big picture, people.
The only positive thing I can find about AFL at the moment (and it is pretty bloody good), is that Jacky Rievolt is still on top of the Coleman table. Shit yeah. If he can keep his nose in front of big bad Bazz (who would have thought at the start of the year that it would be J. Rievolt v B. Hall slugging it out for the Coleman...) for the last couple of rounds, it will be a gigantic achievement for a budding young superstar. If he gets up, my only worry is that his head will explode when they hang the medal around his neck. I don`t think it will, he probably thought he had it in the bag from round 1... I reckon he will take it in his egomaniacal stride, and he will only get better and better as he gets more and more arrogant. GO YOU GOOD THING.


The World Game...
I love the world game with a passion. It is a sincere regret of mine that I didn`t take an interest in it earlier. The beautiful game... not a beautiful as real footy, or cricket for that matter, but definitely my third favourite sport. Heheh.
I was stoked to find that the Mexicano CableTV in my pimped out new pad has FOXsports and ESPN, as it means I`ll finally be able to get put some serious time into watching the EPL and European competitions. It just sucks that I get to watch all the Liverpool games in the first season we haven`t qualified for the champions league in forever...
Its been a distinclty so-so start to the season for the mighty Liverpool FC. I missed most of the Arsenal game.. We were leading through Ngog`s tasty-looking opener... Gerrard and Johnston both had near misses...we were cruising into injury time and a good first-up home win against quality opposition... right up until.... uh-oh..

91st minute.
Joe Cole sent off in his first appearance..argh.

I caught the the highlights of the crappy-arse UEFA-cup-who-gives-a-fuck qualifier this arvo... Hodgson made wholesale changes in accordance with the crappiness of the competition... Babel scored a decent goal to finish off a shitty first half where we didn`t create many chances... Reina pulled a blinding save ¿video? for Sunday`s blunder against the Gunners in a second half where we played better with Torres up front...Joe Cole missed a penatly (NOT a good start in the RED Joey, hehe), blah blah blah... we don`t belng in this crappy competition, so I couldn`t really care less. Good to see new-recruit and supposed future superstar Christian Poulsen get a game. From the little I saw on the highlights reel, he looks the real deal. Hodgson was happy with him: "suprising...satisfying...he played very well". One to watch.

For the Reds, it really has to be all about the league this year. Gotta get something serious happening in England. Cups are always glorious, and we`re bloody good at winning them, but sustained success at home has to come first.

Looking forward to actually watching the season for real for once.

The Beautiful Game
Mexican Madness...

Monterrey has two teams in the Premiera Division de Mexico.
Club de Futbal Monterrey (C.F. Monterrey) have won the last two national league titles, are expected to do so again this season. So they`re really good, and they play at the massive, awesome, 45,000 seat stadium located at my uni campus, just over the road from where I`m living. You can imagine how excited I was at the prospect of following a side that wins nearly every week, and is very likely to win the title this season....

That was until I discovered that Monterrey`s other side was known simply as TIGRES, wear yellow&blue and sometimes yellow&black uniforms, and have a giant tiger emblazoned on all club clobber. I had no option but to barrack for the Mexican Tiges. The Monterrey Tiges. Haha. Mad.

I pissed myself the second I read up a bit about the team. There was no going back, they were the tiges, so I back `em. But get this... Turns out Tigres are completely shithouse. They`ve started this season with a win, two draws, and a loss, but from what I can tell, they will be lucky to continue on even at that rate. They almost won over the weekend, but got equalised on in injury time aswell. Mierde. Shit.

Similiar to my real Richmond Tiges, they have one of the most passionate supporter bases of any club in Mexico (the highest average home game attendance of any side, 47,500)...

So passionate are they that on the 27th of March this year, as the club lost its 7th straight game, and slumped to the bottom of the table (their worst season on record), TIGRES fans literally started tearing each other apart... a war errupting between fans chanting for the coaches head, and fans who supported the clubs current administration...fists and rocks flying all over the place... hehe Loco Mexicanos..

The `best bit`? (I`d normally say "only in Mexico", but it doesn`t seem out of the realms of possibility at Punt Rd sometimes...) There were rumours everywhere in the media that a dissident faction of the clubs board had paid the supporter calling for the coaches blood to start the fight, in the hope that it would get him sacked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Viva La Mexico, Ole Tigres.
Aussie Aussie Aussie, OI OI OI, Go the mighty Tiges.
England can suck it, Come on you Reds.
Three footy teams that never fucking win, trainspotting style.
Same shit, different sewer, if you will.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

live on national radio...

The National Live on the Radio!
From the most-awesome Minnesota public radio station The Current.
Twiiter em, or something.

That version of `You Were a Kindness` is almost too tasty. Flavour overload. The man has the best sense of beautiful sorrow `since` Nick Cave. I`ve heard people shit on The National because the dude is a "wannabe Nick Cave". Shithouse call. `Originality` is over-rated... he has a deep, beautiful, mournful voice... their songs are slow... so no-one should listen to them because it is all a rip off? Get farked. Go read Barthes if you wanna be a wanker about it. The original author is dead. Everything has been thought. All art is exhausted. etc.

The National make beautiful music.

Speaking of the lord of morbid and constant comparisons, listen out for bit where the host craps on about how she wishes King Nick had an evil variety TV show and that the National would play on it every week... pretty funny.