don't read the news...

SERIOUSLY.

It's bad for your mental health.

A brief run down of what the internet had to tell me tonight to send me to sleep:

http://www.theage.com.au/world/global-oil-supply-far-worse-than-admitted-20091110-i7gu.html?autostart=1

"The world is much closer to running out of oil than official estimates admit, says a whistleblower at the International Energy Agency who claims it has been deliberately underplaying a looming shortage for fear of triggering panic buying"

Nice.

http://www.theage.com.au/technology/technology-news/britain-presses-on-with-big-brother-telecoms-database-20091110-i7j4.html

"LONDON: Every phone call, text message, email and website visit made by Britons is to be stored for a year and will be available for monitoring by government bodies.
All telecoms companies and internet service providers will be required by British law to keep a record of every customer's personal communications, showing who they have contacted, when and where, as well as the websites they have visited"

NICE.

http://news.theage.com.au/sport/cricket/hayden-wants-aborigines-to-play-cricket-20091111-ia1t.html

Matt Hayden goes to the Tiwi Islands to promote sport, exercise and a healthy lifestlye amongst indigenous children. Fair enough...

BUT

He went there as an ambassador for the Macquarie Bank to kindly donate $24,000 of their money to the local girls soccer club...

Macquarie Bank CEO Alan Moss earns an estimated $33m a year.

Investment banking cheif Nicholas Moore earns $32.9m a year.

Head of corporate finance Michael Carapiet earns $23m a year.

Chairman David Clarke earned almost $19m last year.

Deputy managing director Richard Sheppard earned $10.2m last year.

NICE.

If these blokes donated their spare change to Haydos's valiant charity efforts, there would be a veritable fuckload of pretty pimped-out girl's soccer stadiums in remote indigenous communities in no time...

Just sayin'.

http://www.theage.com.au/national/rabbits-get-new-penises-20091110-i7kg.html

"SCIENTISTS in the US have engineered artificial penises in rabbits using cells from the animals to grow tailor-made organs, with some rabbits hopping to it and fathering baby rabbits within months"

Crazy...

The moral of the story is that the world is inconcievably fucked-up and incomprehensibly bizarre.

If you read about it before you go to bed you probably won't be all that keen on waking up.

Although you might find pictures like this by accident that remind you life is worth living..

Behold the East-African naked mole-rat:

Apparently an east-african naked mole-rat looks rather a lot like a penis with legs:

Heh.