Friday, August 20, 2010

real footy/`football`/futbol...

Australian Football League
aka
AFL
aka
Australian Rules Football
aka
Actual Real Footy...
....
I`m feeling decidedly sick-to-the-stomach looking at the ladder after the weekend.

The following facts suck particular dick:

The Tiges getting belted by the blues. It`s always shit getting belted... but this meant I officially, mathematically, there she goes lost a pineapple. I bet that the Tiges would finish higher on the ladder than the Dees. Ah well. Next year fellas.
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Collingwood are smashing it. This is truly disgusting. If the dirt merchants win a "10th anniversary flag", I`m not coming home from Mexico. No way, no how. Go Cats, go Saints, go Doggies, go Freo for fucks sake... anyone but the Colliwobbles... 1990 didn`t count... you can`t win a flag on that "first saturday in October"... surely they`ll choke... and hopefully die. Please choke. Particularly Dale Thomas. You Fairy.
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On the Essendon-stealing-Richmond-champions-for-coaches-then-treating-them-like-shit- front (I notice that Ashley Prescott is an assistant these days...next in line??)... Ya gotta feel super sorry for Matty Knights. The only thing the poor bloke has done wrong with his baby bombers is a mistake more reminiscent of a new coach at Richmond. Achieving too much success with a young list too soon. No one expected Essendon to perform as well as they did over the last two years, the man has done an amazing job, and now it looks like the bullshit raised expectations that come with early success may be his downfall.

The last couple of losses have been horrible, and I`d be disappointed at the prospect of missing the finals and taking a step backwards if I were a Don aswell. However, young sides will always have patchy form, and it is the blokes on the park that are to blame for copping absolute beltings, not the man in the box. The media circus that puts pressure on any coaches at the drop of the hat is one of the least realistic, most highly idiotic aspects of our sport. Editors and journos get personally stuck in to guys who don`t deserve is a poorly veiled attempt to sell more papers. The poorest thing is that it works. Everyone should buy the paper with the least attention grabbing back page. I think he is the right man for the job, a hardnut and a good bloke, and he has clearly shown that he has enough technical and strategic nouse to draw results from this list that other coaches would have struggled to match.

The worst part is the shadow of Hird. The man is god at Windy Hill, and his word is gospel. The second he says he wants in Knighters is out. Hirdy flagged the possibility during the week, but The Herald Sun AKA The Almighty Bastion of Reputable Journalism reported yesterday that he reckons it won`t happen "for at least three years....and probably never". So  stick with the white Knight until HIrdy throws in his hat, or the Bombers plummet to the bottom, which seems rather unlikely. As the man points out, he has a contract. Let him try to fulfill it, he is doing alright so far. Big picture, people.
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The only positive thing I can find about AFL at the moment (and it is pretty bloody good), is that Jacky Rievolt is still on top of the Coleman table. Shit yeah. If he can keep his nose in front of big bad Bazz (who would have thought at the start of the year that it would be J. Rievolt v B. Hall slugging it out for the Coleman...) for the last couple of rounds, it will be a gigantic achievement for a budding young superstar. If he gets up, my only worry is that his head will explode when they hang the medal around his neck. I don`t think it will, he probably thought he had it in the bag from round 1... I reckon he will take it in his egomaniacal stride, and he will only get better and better as he gets more and more arrogant. GO YOU GOOD THING.

2010 RIEVOLT COLEMAN.
2011 RIEVOLT B2B COLEMAN, DELEDIO BROWNLOW, MARTIN NORM SMITH, TIGES FLAG.
THIS WILL HAPPEN.
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Football
aka
Wogball
aka
Soccer
aka
The World Game...
...
I love the world game with a passion. It is a sincere regret of mine that I didn`t take an interest in it earlier. The beautiful game... not a beautiful as real footy, or cricket for that matter, but definitely my third favourite sport. Heheh.
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I was stoked to find that the Mexicano CableTV in my pimped out new pad has FOXsports and ESPN, as it means I`ll finally be able to get put some serious time into watching the EPL and European competitions. It just sucks that I get to watch all the Liverpool games in the first season we haven`t qualified for the champions league in forever...
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Its been a distinclty so-so start to the season for the mighty Liverpool FC. I missed most of the Arsenal game.. We were leading through Ngog`s tasty-looking opener... Gerrard and Johnston both had near misses...we were cruising into injury time and a good first-up home win against quality opposition... right up until.... uh-oh..



91st minute.
Idiota.
1-1.
Draw.
Joe Cole sent off in his first appearance..argh.

I caught the the highlights of the crappy-arse UEFA-cup-who-gives-a-fuck qualifier this arvo... Hodgson made wholesale changes in accordance with the crappiness of the competition... Babel scored a decent goal to finish off a shitty first half where we didn`t create many chances... Reina pulled a blinding save ¿video? for Sunday`s blunder against the Gunners in a second half where we played better with Torres up front...Joe Cole missed a penatly (NOT a good start in the RED Joey, hehe), blah blah blah... we don`t belng in this crappy competition, so I couldn`t really care less. Good to see new-recruit and supposed future superstar Christian Poulsen get a game. From the little I saw on the highlights reel, he looks the real deal. Hodgson was happy with him: "suprising...satisfying...he played very well". One to watch.

For the Reds, it really has to be all about the league this year. Gotta get something serious happening in England. Cups are always glorious, and we`re bloody good at winning them, but sustained success at home has to come first.

Looking forward to actually watching the season for real for once.
LIV-ERP-OOL LIVERPOOL FC.... COME ON YOU REDS.

Futbol
aka
The Beautiful Game
aka
Mexican Madness...
...

Monterrey has two teams in the Premiera Division de Mexico.
Club de Futbal Monterrey (C.F. Monterrey) have won the last two national league titles, are expected to do so again this season. So they`re really good, and they play at the massive, awesome, 45,000 seat stadium located at my uni campus, just over the road from where I`m living. You can imagine how excited I was at the prospect of following a side that wins nearly every week, and is very likely to win the title this season....

That was until I discovered that Monterrey`s other side was known simply as TIGRES, wear yellow&blue and sometimes yellow&black uniforms, and have a giant tiger emblazoned on all club clobber. I had no option but to barrack for the Mexican Tiges. The Monterrey Tiges. Haha. Mad.

I pissed myself the second I read up a bit about the team. There was no going back, they were the tiges, so I back `em. But get this... Turns out Tigres are completely shithouse. They`ve started this season with a win, two draws, and a loss, but from what I can tell, they will be lucky to continue on even at that rate. They almost won over the weekend, but got equalised on in injury time aswell. Mierde. Shit.

Similiar to my real Richmond Tiges, they have one of the most passionate supporter bases of any club in Mexico (the highest average home game attendance of any side, 47,500)...

So passionate are they that on the 27th of March this year, as the club lost its 7th straight game, and slumped to the bottom of the table (their worst season on record), TIGRES fans literally started tearing each other apart... a war errupting between fans chanting for the coaches head, and fans who supported the clubs current administration...fists and rocks flying all over the place... hehe Loco Mexicanos..



The `best bit`? (I`d normally say "only in Mexico", but it doesn`t seem out of the realms of possibility at Punt Rd sometimes...) There were rumours everywhere in the media that a dissident faction of the clubs board had paid the supporter calling for the coaches blood to start the fight, in the hope that it would get him sacked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Viva La Mexico, Ole Tigres.
Aussie Aussie Aussie, OI OI OI, Go the mighty Tiges.
England can suck it, Come on you Reds.
Three footy teams that never fucking win, trainspotting style.
Same shit, different sewer, if you will.
Bargh.

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